Daily scare

Yeah having a go at the daily mail is easy and predictable. Like pointing out Hitlers ideas were abit mean or perhaps George Bush could have done more to the image of America around the world. The Daily Mail, Hitler and Dubya could not really give a toss cos they are successful in their own ways. Though they obviously shouldn't be. But I fucking hate the daily mail even more specifically I hate Melanie Phiilps a sort of vicious pseudo 'voice of reason' who writes sensationalist pc bashing, multi cultural bashing bullshit. Her last few articles are entitled as follows...

Our police were never guilty of 'institutional racism' and it's time this witch hunt ended

Alfie, Chantelle and the sheer madness of sex education that teaches nothing about morality

British police running from Muslim demonstrators, a Christian nurse facing the sack for offering to pray for a patient - this is the way a society dies

Sorry to be a party pooper, but I can't share this swooning Obama hysteria

The age of the snitch - how public sector informers are creating Stasi Britain...

I recognise she is strirring up controversy with sensationalist headines as it sells and gets readers...

Coal discovered in Melanie Phillips whorey old vagina

its quite simple really.

Her latest opinion piece is about Gail Trimble(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1154145/MELANIE-PHILLIPS-What-mob-really-hates-Gail-Trimble-glowing-self-confidence.html) who is supposedly so clever she answered ever single question on university challenge even before Jeremy Paxman had got out of his filthy pajamas in the morning. Paxman famously does not wash his nightwear on a point of principle. Well done Trimble face but since when did answering quiz questions become the number one barometer of how we judge intellect?

Why don't we just let pub quiz teams design rockets or elect whoever wins who wants to be a millionaire as our leader. Which would make Chris Tarrant some sort of god like figure. Shrines where the theme tunes to who wants to be a millionaire and Tiswas would be played until they reached a furious frenzy and then we'd sacrifice whoever could not name 3 Grace Kelly films.

Trimble may or may not be really bright but her performance on University Challege is not overly relevent. Its the same sort of championing Carol Vorderman got. Because she is on the fucking telly and she knows her prime numbers she is lionised as some sort of Archemidies figure. 'Its on the telly...thats where all the great people live'

Back to Phillips her is an article she 'wrote' about the BNP. http://www.melaniephillips.com/articles-new/?p=646

Here she attacks the BNP for cynically using issues and stirring up trouble by irresponsibly twisting issues. Which she does not do in anything she writes. Such as her demurely titled 'Londonistan' book which in no way does the same thing.

As far as I can see they are all on the same wrong headed, reactionary path and willfully misinterpret current affairs and history. They may as well claim that seagulls are ruining UK life or as Phillips constantly suggests the cradle of liberty. If I was going to keep liberty in anything it would not be a cradle. It's a fully grown adult now and makes its own decisions. People making out our liberty is a little ickle baby ready to be kidnapped by the (deleate as appropriate) EU, Muslims, Labour Party, PC brigade, Melanie Phillps, Power Rangers, people who work in moble phone shops whoever are on the wrong path. Its pretty robust and aint that easily offended.

Money

Right so apparently the UK is in so much debt that we'll have to scrap money altogether and rely on a system of noise bidding. Items are flogged according to who ever makes the loudest noise. Though we'd all end up cheating and just playing recorded elephants having a paddy fit.

This reminds me of an idea I once had. Basically people would buy things as they do now but instead of taking the goods home people would put the things they buy into big skips. So all the items everyone in the country had purchased that week would be in large skips. At the end of the week the skips are emptied and the goods distributed entirely at random. So for example you buy a car but your sent a Kerry Katona biography or you buy a funeral for your recently deceased mother but get sent a travel guide to back packing in the Andes. You get the picture.

Sounds silly yes...well maybe but its no more stupid than what we have been doing. "Oh look there's the crappy thing I really want. Oh but it cost £900...hmm oh well I will buy it using this magic card a pixie gave me that plucks money out of free air! Yay" One months time "Shit I have to pay the fucking pixie back!" This sort of economic la la attitude affected the people at the top of the financial food chain even more.

If for the last 20 years financial institutions were controlled by a duck, Phillip Schofield, the banker from 'Deal or No Deal and the knife that was used to stabbed Monica Seles we would be in no worse a situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7898871.stm

I think the major problem is though its a serious situation its also unforgivably dull. Like a particularly boring horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, Violence, Famine, and Disease these are exciting. Why can't we have one of those crises? Some do but they don't affect tubby middle England. But this disaster is so boring I can't concentrate on it. Its like a mass murderer before sticking the knife in reads at nauseating lengths his notes on his idea for a kettle that will only boil water to optimum drinking temperature...actually that's a good idea, wheres my knife?

So in short we are fucked but in such a boring way that in a typical 21st century response we cant be arsed thinking about it...which may in the end just save us.

It's just awesome init..no not really

Having lived in London for a insanely short time I am not able to give a definitive view on whether or not it's a supremely great place to live, full of cool people and essentially like a big city version of the scene Paolo Nutini awakes to in his overexcited tribute to his fucking new shoes. But any claim that London is the coolest city in the world must surely be tempered by the fact it's the capital of the UK. It's like a talent scout discovering the next Beatles but then finding out this band refuse to speak any known language and will only do gigs in Badger sets. In other words London cant be cool until the UK, all of it is aswell. Which it never will be.

The UK if it were a person would be the sort of human being that would offer you a lift somewhere then as you take your place in the passenger seat and prepare to go the UK would suddely remember it left the cat in a bag or left the toilet seat up and run back in to right the situation. It would then come back out and spend the next 4 hours adjusting its seat before turning to you and tellng you it in fact does not have a driving license in a pathetic sheepish manner.

Londoner- Yeah but like I am cool and my friends are cool so like Londons cool so like we are cool.

No your a dick head

Londoner-But we get to see like all he bands first like this week me and a mate saw The Butchers Clitoris and Roll Over Fuckhead or ROF, they are gonna be big man

No they wont and your still a dickhead

Londoner-Whatever man I am busy.

Its not some wonder city where everyones waiting to be a star. Where even lollipop men take drugs with Pete Docherty. It just a city thats big...same as anywhere no magic properties and you just go about your business there wherther that be banking or glue sniffing.

Its easy to be cynical about London. Its a big city lots of good stuff, lots of crap but 99 per cent of the people who live there rarely do anything out the ordinary, mostly stay in the area they live in and hang about with the same old people like we all do. Because thats what Brits do and London is very much part of the UK

Toff and Midget

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2213124.ece

As the clatter of disapproval about the UK's drinking culture continues unbound. Pints for 99p and 'oh shit we are all going to lose our jobs so lets get pissed on IPA' (of all things) fear sweeps around like a obsessive compulsive cleaner. The Sun had decided students are due a pop. 'The Sun' lays into Cambridge University students and their drinking game 'initiation' ceremonies.

What 'The Sun' does very well is mock outrage i.e. 'Cambridge girls' booze and sex shame' and alongside it put pictures of the crapulent toffs in their bra's and knickers and in this case bizarrely a girl alongside a midget for no apparent reason with the tag line 'frolic' even though the 'midget' is simply holding a bowl of sweets. Its really just mild lurid titillation designed to provoke anger and a posh girl fantasy for people so desperate not to remember they have to go to work tomorrow that are genuinely wandering if they could get away with trying to look like the family dog by putting on clothing of the same colour.

The Sun then brings three quotes from concerned parties. Alcohol Concern’s Carys Davies said: "It’s not really setting a good example." Which considering the body Carys Davies represents seems so half hearted that they may as well just have quoted someone looking into the fridge and seeing someones left the top off the margarine. The NUS states The National Union of Students said it strongly encouraged a ban on the dangerous ceremonies" Like some sort of retrospective Health and Safety executive so bored that they are looking at aspects of Roman savagery. The University itself states "We aim to insure students behave responsibly." Which brings the whole non-news article to such a shocking and shuddering conclusion that if you were to now find out your mother used to be part of a washing machine would only produce a slightly raised eyebrow.

People drink because it gives us the excuse we need to piss about, make mistakes, cry or whatever. Self flagellation only produces hyperbole and misguided policies. Humans have been pissheads since time immoral.