Money

Right so apparently the UK is in so much debt that we'll have to scrap money altogether and rely on a system of noise bidding. Items are flogged according to who ever makes the loudest noise. Though we'd all end up cheating and just playing recorded elephants having a paddy fit.

This reminds me of an idea I once had. Basically people would buy things as they do now but instead of taking the goods home people would put the things they buy into big skips. So all the items everyone in the country had purchased that week would be in large skips. At the end of the week the skips are emptied and the goods distributed entirely at random. So for example you buy a car but your sent a Kerry Katona biography or you buy a funeral for your recently deceased mother but get sent a travel guide to back packing in the Andes. You get the picture.

Sounds silly yes...well maybe but its no more stupid than what we have been doing. "Oh look there's the crappy thing I really want. Oh but it cost £900...hmm oh well I will buy it using this magic card a pixie gave me that plucks money out of free air! Yay" One months time "Shit I have to pay the fucking pixie back!" This sort of economic la la attitude affected the people at the top of the financial food chain even more.

If for the last 20 years financial institutions were controlled by a duck, Phillip Schofield, the banker from 'Deal or No Deal and the knife that was used to stabbed Monica Seles we would be in no worse a situation. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7898871.stm

I think the major problem is though its a serious situation its also unforgivably dull. Like a particularly boring horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, Violence, Famine, and Disease these are exciting. Why can't we have one of those crises? Some do but they don't affect tubby middle England. But this disaster is so boring I can't concentrate on it. Its like a mass murderer before sticking the knife in reads at nauseating lengths his notes on his idea for a kettle that will only boil water to optimum drinking temperature...actually that's a good idea, wheres my knife?

So in short we are fucked but in such a boring way that in a typical 21st century response we cant be arsed thinking about it...which may in the end just save us.